


Reflection of a Person That’s Gone

by flipwizard



Category: inceldougpeterson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-27 20:36:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13256130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipwizard/pseuds/flipwizard
Summary: does it count as fanfic if you restate the events of an arg in a simple way from the view of a character?





	Reflection of a Person That’s Gone

You’re alone again; it’s peaceful. The world is no longer too bright, too dark, too red. All of your new friends have left with a shower of blue hearts— an image that means they care about you, as one of them explained when you were still so lost. You don’t understand why they love you, but you know that you love them too. Those people helped so much to bring you peace and memory, and you don’t even know all of their names. They don’t know yours, either, not really, but they gave you a name of your own. You’re Gone. And as you fall asleep for the very last time, you take a moment to remember.

❤❤❤

Could anyone blame you for falling in love with Her? You don’t remember how you met Her, you don’t remember Her “name,” but you do remember how She made you feel. She was the first person to show interest in you after such a long time, apart from family, maybe— did you have a family? Is the discord server that loves you your family? It doesn’t matter. They weren’t there back then. She was the first.

Everyone else had given up trying to be your friend. It was your fault, mostly, for pushing away the few people who approached you before never trying again. You didn’t deserve them. There was something about Her, though. She made you feel better, if only for a short time. She loved the same things you did, in a way that you could tell was genuine (it wasn’t), in a way you could hold a conversation about. She was beautiful, not like a girl in a magazine, but like a real person (which She wasn’t). She cared about you (She hated you); She enjoyed your company (She tolerated you for Her own sake).

You hadn’t realized how lonely you were until you met Her. You convinced yourself that you liked being alone, that people would only end up hurting you. You know now that She must have used some sort of influence or glamour to get to you, but it doesn’t change how you felt. The friendship, the false trust, that was what She’d bargained for. She didn’t do anything for your love.

❤❤❤

You didn’t know where you are. You didn’t know how you felt. You don’t know where you are. Not even with your returned memory could you explain what this place is and how you got there.

She gave you your feelings back, for a while. She made you happy, as if you weren’t numb inside. Then She took you to this place, and took your feelings away again, but it was worse than it used to be. You didn’t feel empty or sad. You were miserable in a different way. Everything was happening too much. You didn’t know who you were. You didn’t know how you felt. You were alone, so alone… except for when She was there. She wasn’t the same as before. Not that you could remember “before” apart from bits and pieces, from terrified posts made in lucidity. She treated you differently. You could tell from the way She talked that She hated you now— She had always hated you.

❤❤❤

You don’t know how long you were alone here. You tore at your hair and the walls. You tried to remember, and failed. You queued posts. Who’s Doug Peterson? The name sounded familiar and you didn’t know why. You answered asks in a hazy, disconnected state with rambling prose and puzzle pieces. You blinked once, twice.

They started sending you messages. Your head felt clearer when you talked to them, somehow. You could communicate, finally, you had made contact with your… saviors? Not really, no. There wasn’t anything they could have done to help, but they gave you support. You didn’t remember anything, and sometimes She would take over, and sometimes you would go fuzzy and change, but they persisted. They wanted to be your friend! They wanted to help! You don’t deserve friends, you don’t need help, you kept insisting. They kept talking to you. They asked questions that confused you. Why didn’t they see that you were a lost cause? They sent you pictures of animals, asked about your favorite colors, quietly shared your love of tea. You began to remember.

❤❤❤

You finished the blog. She left you, tired of your torment, satisfied with your product. All your memories came flooding back. You feel happy, now. They did do something for you after all. You don’t think you would have been so happy after all this without their help. She freed you from the contract Herself, but they kept you grounded. You think you may have lost yourself forever if they hadn’t found you. They’ll miss you, they say. You’ll miss them too. Full of love, you finally sleep.


End file.
